09 1 / 2019
I had a dream I was able to time travel and I went like 10,20,100,1000,2000 years into the future but the instant I went to 4,000 I got stuck in a time dilation jail set up by the American government in the year 3,877 in which anyone that tried to time travel back or forth across May 23, 3877 while on Earth would end up stuck in this time dilation chamber trap to stop time travelers but like it was so crazy and mismanaged because it was legit capturing like every single time traveler ever and the place had only been open for 12 minutes and was already getting overpopulated with nonstop multiple recursive instances of this one other guy trying to break previous versions of himself out of this god damn time traveler jail
that is fucking hysterical and absolutely sounds like something the American Government would set up.
09 1 / 2019
i just scooted my chair and felt the vibrations in my asshole does this mean im gay
That was just me sending chakra vibrations to your prostate don’t worry about it bro
ok bro vibes received, namaste
(via multifandomsexual)
09 1 / 2019
2019 is gonna be a slutty year I promise you
2019 is gonna be an emo year what are you talking about
why not both?? 2019 is gonna be a slutty emo year
(via multifandomsexual)
08 1 / 2019
some of you never had to ask your parents to be allowed to use the computer and it shows
some of you never did chores all day to persuade your mom to let you watch your favorite TV programme and its obvious
some of u never had a time limit set on how long u could play video games for and i can tell
(Source: hexglyphs, via i-am-elsa-defying-gravity)
08 1 / 2019
08 1 / 2019
08 1 / 2019
- Are you trying to scare us?
- I’m maxing out your adrenaline. Fear keeps you fast. Fast is good.
(via doctor-who-gifs)
08 1 / 2019
Personally I love books that put the footnotes at the bottom of the page instead of at the end of the book so that I don’t have to keep flipping back and forth like an absolute barbarian
(via uglystudies)
08 1 / 2019
hawaiian shirt + dark bags under eyes is a good look… it says yeah i would really love to be carefree and relaxed right now but certain circumstances have made that impossible
(Source: lake-erie, via multifandomsexual)
08 1 / 2019
08 1 / 2019
According to Beatriz, the issues surrounding #MeToo will be presented in a very Nine-Nine way, with a balance of comedy and seriousness. “One of the great things about being on a sitcom and exploring these types of more serious topics is that it’s a little bit trojan horse-y,” she adds. “You’ve gotten used to watching this fun sitcom show and then we explore these things with these characters you’ve grown to love and then you start asking yourself, ‘Whoa, how do I feel about this? How do I feel that this is affecting my television friend?’”
While Fumero admits she’ll be “anxious and nervous” until the episode premieres, Beatriz tips her hat to the stellar acting in it. “The comedic elements from Andre, Joe, and Terry and some of the more dramatic stuff that was happening with Melissa and Andy… I felt very, very lucky to be witness to,” she adds.
08 1 / 2019
08 1 / 2019
meanest-thieves-steal-blankets:
reasons to shave:
✔️ hoo boy, it is warm out and I gotta cool off pronto!
✔️ I love feeling smooth sm….. I love feeling like a slippery slab of bacon….
✔️ FUCJ FUCK FUCK FUCKING FUCKS IM ITCHY EVERYTHING ITCHES
✔️ I love the look of being clean shaven and that’s all there is to it!
🚫 some JERKWEASEL told you to shave
✔️ To provide better aerodynamics when being catapulted through the air
✔️ Gathering human hair for any number of spells, voodoo rituals or arts projects
✔️ Well I shaved my eyebrows may as well shave everything else while I’m at it
🚫 I’m scared some JERKWEED might say something if I don’t
@philosophical-wanton an EXCELLENT addition thank u
Reasons NOT to shave:
✔️hoo boy do I hate feelin the wind against my bare skin
✔️F l u f f y
✔️no time to shave
✔️too much effort to shave
✔️razor burn
✔️allergic to shaving
✔️I just don’t want to shave and that’s all!!
🚫shaving is for girls only
🚫hair makes u manly
You can do what you want with your body because it’s your body! Other people don’t control your body! Men can shave their legs too! Girls can be hairy too! Everybody gets to decide what they want to do with their own body!
fucking……yes…… go off…….. thank you @meanest-thieves-steal-blankets
(via magicfortunecookie)